BROKE-TINI AKA POORSÉ AKA FRENCH $.75

So you want to try one of the newest drink trends: Frosé! For anyone reading who isn't familiar with this very hipster beverage, it's frozen wine blended with some kind of fruit into a slushy. AND IT SOUNDS DELICIOUS.

As we walked by A SPORTSBAR (haha) in our neighborhood, I saw it on the specials board. I couldn't get it out of my head the rest of the afternoon. So what's a girl to do? Make one at home, duh. But with what moola?

Boyfriend went to the deli late the other night and grabbed several "'A-rita's" for ourselves and our guests. And in typical Saturday night fashion, one of them spilled all over the clean living room floor, and a couple of the others went unfinished as I very predictably became very anti-social at 4 AM and Irish Goodbyed to hang out on our fire escape until they left (I'm such a cranky bitch sometimes... but I NEED ALONE TIME OR I DIE). Regardless, we had two left in our fridge today to make some Broke-tails!

Start by washing your blender! If you're like me, you've left homemade tzatziki in the blender for wayyyyy too long. So clean it. And clean it well, as you put immeasurable amount of garlic in it. As I've mentioned in previous posts: If you have a Vitamix, you've arrived, and you have no business making "pauper-tails." Go drink your fancy lavender infused 17$ cocktails "mixologized" by a man named Jason (spelled Jayceon) wearing suspenders.

Next, add ice and the old freezer burned frozen fruit that you have. Could be mangos, definitely a couple strawberries... not quite sure what else at this point.

After the fruit identifying, get your can of the lovely malt beverage which actually has nothing to do with a margarita and has everything to do with having yummy alcohol in your belly for cheap, and get add it to the blender.

Make sure some splurts out the top of the blender. Spill a little too for good measure.

Blend, and then top with a bit of seltzer, or don't because you like it sweeter!

Drink and then be happy with your life choices.

P.S Drink the last little bit out of the blender...because you're an animal.

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