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Dear Diary: I Sat In Milk

Dearest Diary,

It's been a couple of weeks since our trip upstate, and I've finally recovered from our excursion. The voyage was trying, but the coffee, yelling at cabs, and special Yandy plus size lingerie we brought to shoot kept me invigorated. I've missed writing the accounts of my life, but I've been too sore to scrawl; between perching on the edge of a bathtub for 2 hours, to seeing how many wontons I could fit in my mouth during our dinner break, I've needed some recovery time.

The trip started out as any trips from NYC do, in traffic. We left early but it still took us just as long to pick up Stephanie uptown as it did to drive the 120 miles upstate. I had to wait 3 hours to have my first coffee of the day lest I have to urinate (which we know isn't done in the NYC area); which meant I was whiney and particularly testy when the Mountains decided to ruin my intentions to drive 85 MPH.

Days before we left, I had googled "Flower Shops in Hudson, NY," as this was the town where we'd rented an Airbnb. I spoke to the owner and arranged to pick up a couple dozen flowers and balloons. After we followed directions on the GPS to the address in question, we arrived at an old condemned house that looked like a more decrepit version of the Amnityville Horror home. Upon calling the aforementioned owner, we learned that her shop was not in Hudson, NY; it was in Hastings On Hudson, BECAUSE THAT'S A THING THAT'S 100 MILES FROM HUDSON, NY.

Defeated, hungry, and cold, we headed to the townhouse, sin fleurs. We parked outside and started game planning about what was next. Luckily for us, a cop pulled up to scold me! I ignored his grievance while smiling and asking in my best "I'm-a-sweet-law-abiding-woman-driver" voice, "Excuse me officer, but do you know where we could buy flowers?" *Leans over to show cleavage*. He ignored me and sent us down the road to Wal Mart. Naturally.

Alas! What's this? On our expedition we came a cross a beautiful mom and pop flower shop (someone use that rhyme please, it's brilliant) called Roseary Flowers. After the lovely owner, Erin, inquired as to what we were doing, midday on a Tuesday, buying $50 worth of flowers and asking where to find helium, we told her about our content creation plans. After a discussion of social media promotion, she kindly gifted us all of the flowers, hooray!

Later in the early afternoon, we FINALLY arrived to our temporary home with snack packs and low percentage wally world wine. I made us lattes and we got to shooting:

Stephanie AKA @bellabombshel

Look at this babe in her Yandy! HELLLOOOOOO NURSE! As you can see, we were losing daylight, so we had to switch to a flash at 5 PM, SIIIIGHHHH:

We kept shooting till around 8 pm when the hunger pangs started again (Sophie sustained us with a ton of mini oreos while I made bottomless lattes filled with crack, I mean, oat milk). It wasn't until the snow came barreling out of the sky that we realized we would absolutely by no means necessary be venturing out into the polar vortex. So what's a girl to do? Order Chinese (we tipped the poor guy 30%. And he was only coming from 3 blocks away, so don't get all hot and bothered).

Always time for mirror selfies in between shots :)

Once we were satiated, it was time. Time to begin...the Milk Bath. We had milk baths on our mood board for a while, but we weren't exactly sure how it was gonna go. Would the flowers sink? Would hair extensions rot? Would the whole place smell like sour lactose afterwards?

It didn't. But what we hadn't considered, is that we only had three towels. One would have to be sacrificed to the gods of terrycloth in order to keep ourselves/the floor/ my camera dry whilst we shot each other. And thus the decree was made: WE MUST ALL SHARE.... MILK TOWEL!

We all did three rounds: one plain, one with flowers, and one with citrus. And I've gotta say, I think they turned out pretty legit, amirite?

Find yourself a friend who will stand on a milky chair for you at 1 in the morning. #behindthescenes

Here's how a couple more of our Yandy shots turned out (insert lovie eyed emoticon here):

Now you see why we needed the balloons. Did I mention we inhaled some of this helium while we were filling them at 1:30 am? Also, my boyfriend's aunt found it in the back of his car on our way home from a church outing. True story. I had some 'splaining to do.

We finally went to bed around 2, and then we were right back at it at 6. No rest for influencers who need to shoot three weeks worth of content in 12 hours! We shot all morning, frantically chugging coffee and grabbing the balloons that kept migrating throughout the living room. Around 12:30PM, I looked out the window to see what the snow status was, and yes, the car was buried, thanks to the snowplow. I grabbed a shovel we keep in the trunk (thank GODDESS) and got to work. 30 minutes later, we were ready to head back into the city. 6 hours later, I made it home and managed to unpack and park the car. It was a whirlwind. It was great. It was...milky.

But all in all, a great success.

Here's our vlog from the ride home on my Youtube channel if you want to watch our voices get REAL SQUEEKY (Sophie's Scottish accent is too cute):

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